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Impact of Childhood Trauma and Domestic Abuse is a powerful force that can shape our lives in profound ways. For those who have experienced childhood abuse or domestic abuse, the effects can be long-lasting and deeply impactful. In this blog, I will share my personal story of how a lack of love and compassion as a child has affected me as an adult, and the journey I have taken towards healing and self-discovery.
Uncovering the Wounds: Childhood Trauma and its Effects
Growing up in an environment where abuse and neglect were the norm can leave deep emotional scars that last a lifetime. The lack of love and compassion during formative years can lead to a profound sense of unworthiness and an inability to trust others. Childhood abuse has been found to up the chances of developing anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, personality disorders, PTSD, and psychosis. This can also lead to a higher likelihood of substance abuse due to alterations in the brain affecting impulse control and decision-making.
Me and my siblings 1972
Chrissy 5yrs, Sarah 4yrs, Jamie 1yr
For me, the effects of childhood trauma manifested in struggles with self-worth, trust issues, and an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety. Growing up was nothing but fear, scared of the monsters in my life. The fear ran so deep that it silenced my mind and my spirit. In its wake it left shaking little hands, fear of talking, racing little heart, and a 24/7 survival mode.
My childhood abuse entailed, without getting into detail:
No Love
No compassion
Abandonment
No Hygiene (Not bathed, smelled, matted hair)
Hunger
Work detail
Guns
Yelling
Being Chased
Beatings
12yrs old on the streets looking somewhere to live
The Cycle of Abuse: Recognizing Patterns in Relationships
As I entered adulthood, I found myself repeating the same patterns of abuse and neglect that I had experienced as a child. I didn't know the difference. I was oblivious to the signs, as the toxic environment I was raised in had normalized such behavior for me. The environment I was brought up in, I thought it was all normal.
In understanding the cycle of abuse, it is crucial to recognize the recurring phases that typically unfold in such relationships. The first stage often involves tension building, where small conflicts and frustrations gradually escalate, creating a sense of unease and apprehension. This is followed by an explosive incident, where the abuse reaches its peak, leading to emotional or physical harm. The aftermath of this outburst is usually characterized by a period of reconciliation, where the abuser may express regret and promise to change, luring the victim back into the cycle.
My adulthood abuse entailed, without getting into detail:
Yelled at
pushed, beatings, spit on
raped (more than once)
on the streets
hunger
pregnant at 15
called names
controlled (not allowed to: have friends, and have feelings)
manipulated
gaslighted
the most profound loneliness ever felt
Started dating my husband at the age of 17, Married my husband at 23yrs old had three more children. Him and his family abused me for 38yrs. 38yrs is a very long time on top of all my childhood years. Because of this I developed PTSD, hit rock bottom at the age of 53yrs old.
It was only then that I realized something has to change or I'm going to die. At first, it was therapy that helped me through the immediate help that I needed. Worked for about the first year and I realized I needed something deeper to help me. And that was my God/Universe, Jesus, my Spirit Guides, Archangels, Guardian Angels, my whole spirit family. So, I got on my knees and asked in tears and desperation (rock bottom) to my spirit family for guidance. I received and still receive the guidance. Started with self-reflect and I was able to recognize these patterns and break free from the cycle of abuse. Learning to set boundaries, practice self-care, and cultivate self-love were crucial steps in breaking free from toxic relationships and creating healthy boundaries.
Through spiritual guidance I have been able to uncover the root causes of my struggles and begin the process of healing. By cultivating self-love, compassion, and forgiveness, I have been able to break free from the chains of my past and create a more fulfilling and empowered life. It is an ongoing journey, but one that has brought me closer to my true self and allowed me to cultivate deeper connections with others.
Conclusion
The effects of childhood trauma and domestic abuse can be profound and long-lasting, but they do not have to define our lives. By recognizing the patterns that hold us back, seeking support, and cultivating self-love and compassion, we can begin the journey towards healing and self-discovery. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future ahead.
I am a testament that spiritual guidance and growth works! If it didn't, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this blog. Through this journey I found my life purpose and it has been the most important information I have received through my journey. My whole life I was living the opposite of who I am. I was living the life that was created by others. Now I live at Peace, in love with myself, and excitement of what's to become in the rest of my life. My purpose is to heal and guide others. I found that my life path number is a Master number 11, highly intuitive, and healers. There are only 3 master numbers out of all the life path numbers 11, 22, 33. The other life path numbers are single digit 1-9.
Sending Peace, Love, Healing White Light to you 🕊️🌍❤️☀️🧘♀️✨
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